


Worthless: A Title Worn Best

by Relyc



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, Mostly Fluff, nervous inquisitor, one shots, possibly smut in future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-07-29 13:30:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7686388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relyc/pseuds/Relyc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div>
  <p>Settia is a broken and struggling to deal with the woes of the Inquisition on top of his own. His only hope comes from the cheeky Qunari who always sees past the fake exterior of the Inquisitor. </p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Understanding

**His heart ached. Tight.**

It was hard to focus on everything swimming inside as each thought was overwhelmed by another feeling. If it wasn't self shame, it was worry bubbling out of every orifice it could.

_What was silence anymore to him? What was even silence at all?_

There wasn't any.

The only thing that the elf could even manage some sort of concentration on was the rapid sound of his own heart pounding so quick in such a small span. It seemed to echo in his pointed ears.

Settia stood in a lone corridor, body weak against the wall, short breaths being the only way to supply his body with any form of oxygen. Even as it was going, it wasn't going very well. The trembles and the feeling of suffocating made it hard to stay above it all. He tried to move a foot, but quickly retreated it in realization one step would probably cause him to completely crumble. His body froze in place. The fear of even trying made him develop tears that took no time to slide down his cheeks.

This seemed like a common occurrence when Settia managed to be alone.

There was stress, that built beyond normal levels, of controlling a group such as the Inquisition with everyone watching every mistake wondering...hoping it'd be the fall of what many called a disgrace. No sane Maker would put so much hope in an elf, let alone an apostate mage. Settia was nothing most stood for. He was everything else. Every discarded trait put into a single elf, which made him dislike being the leader even more.

And he knew this.

“Kadan”

The voice is a ray of hope amongst the terrors roaring inside of Settia. His head raises shakily to see Iron Bull standing near the wooden door; a face soft with worry for a loved one. He rarely saw the Inquisitor this broken down.

Worry that wasn't pity, forced, or required.

Usually, the small elf had managed to hide these emotions from everyone else, but not this time. The worry of another offsets the elf in despair long enough for Bull to make his way towards him. No touch is granted until Settia's slender fingers grasp for the bare chest of his Qunari lover to keep himself from falling.

When he does, Bull embraces him with full understanding and stays holding him until the elf is no longer a mess of a man. 

Bull had always seen past Settia's fake display. He was a Ben-Hassrath after all. All the years of training made him notice the little things. The times where Settia would excuse himself and be gone for almost hours. The small change in tone and the fear that blossomed inside the red-head once things became too much for a single soul to take care of.

**He always knew what Settia needed.**

Settia needed space to gather his own thoughts at first then a loving other to pull him out of it all and bring him back to being alright.


	2. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before proceeding, there is minor mention of sexual assault/assault.

Settia had always been jumpy in nature, ever since the first day he got forced to lead the Inquisition movement, but lately it had been a bit worse. It wasn't noticeable to those that spent little time with the Inquisitor. To anyone that had encountered the red-head, they assumed it was nothing new.

At best, the only difference was how his dull eyes were avoiding contact more than prior. Even those closer to him, like companions or advisers, barely saw change.

Bull saw through it, his training as a spy made sure of it.

He easily saw past the demeanor of the Elven leader. Every small change was a large red spark that something happened. When Settia's eyes wouldn't meant his own, he found this unsettling. When a touch to Settia's skin caused the Inquisitor to look as if someone held a knife to his neck, it was alarming. When the elf refused to be alone with others of unfamiliarity, that was the final line. There was no more playing along in hopes that the Inquisitor would go back to normal, no, that was obviously not going to occur without intervention. 

**Today, he'd figure it out before anything got worse.**

* * *

Settia walked, fiddling with his hands, with eyes widen and alert through an open corridor in the castle. It was of course empty of others.

It was a mostly free day in the position of Inquisitor. Not many required assistance and the advisers covered anything else that may have needed attention. He was going to take the day to make sure personal manners were in order. There was matters of finally cleaning up his chambers and possibly taking a nap once done.

Those small thoughts were halted when the distracted Settia bumped into a sturdy figure. The slight color in his skin seemed to fade by just that touch alone. 

"Kadan"

Shakily looking up, Settia met eyes with Bull's pale ones. Even when they did, the Inquisitor's eyes still remained looking like a startled halla. That was exactly the issue Iron Bull had taken note of. 

"B-Bull, I have places to-"

"That can wait"

Iron Bull explained nothing more as he motioned for Settia to turn back around to where he came from in Skyhold. The fear bubbling inside of the Inquisitor made him simply oblige to commands given to him. He walked almost a foot in front of Bull with the Qunari making no attempts to touch his love.

Together, they strolled together back down the hall that Settia originally came from and soon were in the main corridor of the building with the many voices filling the space. 

Each voice was another weight on Settia and to Bull's surprise, his eyes could widen even more. To come with the eyes of panic, the Inquisitor's heart beat was increasing rapidly. Bull disregarded any prior attempt of trying to not touch and gave small pushes to get Settia upstairs away from all of the faces that had no names to match. He knew it wasn't going to help in the short run, but in the long run getting his Kadan out of sheer panic mode stacked above any other issue.

In moments, the two were in the room of Settia. Bull stood his distance as Settia's breathing adjusted to going back to normal. He waited for a calming before speaking.

"Kadan, what happened?"

Those words caught the Elven leader off-guard and the prior state of calm was lost in a instance.

"N-noth-"

Bull caught him off before a lie could be told.

" _Kadan_ "

That tone of voice made Settia clam up and he sat on the edge of the Free Marches-styled bed with hands on his lap. Even with eyes down towards the floor, the Inquisitor knew Iron Bull was next to him by how much the weight of the bed shifted. The two sat, with a decent amount of space between them, in silence as Settia fumbled with what to say.

He couldn't hide from Bull much longer with the extended time spent together because of the Inquisition.

"I.."

Settia's speech comes at a slow pace, but the company is patient. That patience is almost lost when his hands almost flare up in fire from nervousness. His small foot was also thumping against the ground in attempts to not flee from Iron Bull at that moment.

"I...I got....when away..some bandits attacked"

Settia spoke no more as his throat felt like his was closing up. He barely could even choke those few words out.

The Inquisitor followed up in a broken mess of how the people first seemed friendly. They were quick to change their ways towards the red head, leaving him beaten only to be found by an Inquisition Scout. It was why he had been gone longer than the original one day expedition alone.

The way he acted, the change in personality; all of it was enough for Iron Bull to piece together what happened.

It made Bull's blood boil. The anger hid below, though, as anger wasn't going to make manners better right now.

The Qunari placed a caring hand on Settia's back, slowly, to let his love adjust to the touch. There was no words at first. It was simply the two of them sitting together in the silence as the Inquisitor tried to regain composure.

An hour passed before Bull's large hand was softly grasped by Settia's smaller one.

**At that moment, words were spoken softly.**

_"I won't let anyone hurt you again"_


	3. Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a throw back to past, before their relationship. It also shows a side to Settia before he got more nervous.

_Is it always that hard to grab the Bull’s Attention?_

The male Elven Inquisitor seems to believe so by how his lead warrior ignored his tiny advances. Every time he tried to make subtle passes, they were brushed off as simple nothings; each and every time. In honesty, Settia's small attempts were even hard to notice by others. They usually consisted of small 'so you're a Qunari' or 'the weather today is nice'. The only reason a few of the other companions knew was because Cole spoke was Settia really meant.

 

**Iron Bull loved dragons. There was no doubt in that.**

When anyone mentioned anything dealing with that word, the large Qunari would butt in and side track the conversation to dragon slaying, even if the original had nothing to do with that. Settia always was amused by this and even went on dragon hunting for him. It was a blast to hang with a man of little judgement.

The falling for the large man most likely occurred around that time.

It was hard for Settia not to by constantly spending time his mostly shirtless companion. Even if Bull had not noticed the flirtation, he did a good job at making the Inquisitor feel more than just a faceless leader.

It was more than most others did, especially around Skyhold.

 

**Iron Bull also loved sex. It didn’t matter who or what race, the Qunari was down for it all.**

That part is what put an upset in the Inquisitor.

Settia's grey eyes watched from a distance as Iron Bull flirted with the tavern waitresses.

A jealously was burning up inside.

It wasn’t all of the 'romance' that saddened him, it was that he wasn’t the one receiving it. Each time a kiss was exchanged, the Inquisitor’s chest would tighten to a point of pain. With others, Bull seemed so much more at ease. He and the Inquisitor never seemed to have that relationship between them, even in a non-romantic equivalence. 

_What had he lacked that others seemed to have?_

 

Settia would always jerk his head away and head up the stairs to the top floor of the tavern with his pointed ears bobbing a bit with each step. As he moved towards the upper door, Cole would speak softly at him. Usually it was small observations of the Inquisitor's personality, but one time it was something different. “He wants signs and yet misse-”. The wooden door had shut with force behind the red-head before the sentence could have be finished.

**He wants signs and yet misses the obvious ones.**

 

The Elven Inquisitor always got so caught up in what he saw, rather than what actually was there. The Bull knew Settia watched him from time to time. It was hard to be a Ben-Hassrath and not notice. Every time the Inquisitor watched the kisses, he failed to notice Bull’s fierce eyes staring up at him. Eyes that waited for some solid hint of what the Inquisitor wanted rather than fumbles of failed attempts of flirting.

Settia was always caught up in his own head and self insecurities to see that Iron Bull treated him no differently than others. It was the Inquisitor's own doubt that clouded the Qunari's gazes.

It would take months of months of attempts to finally made some sort of sense out of the flirting that was clear enough to make Bull approach Settia. 


	4. Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before proceeding, there is a panic attack within this chapter.

It started like any other meeting in the seclusion of the war room of Skyhold.

"We need to plan for our next attack"

Cullen's face shows signs of stress and the crease between his brows seemed to be on the same page. The relentless nights of trying to prepare the soldiers were slowly getting to him.

"I agree"

Leliana spoke with a soft undertone while casually strolling around the room. Her mind was focused on getting spies in many places as possible to get as much useful information she could acquire. Anything beat the amount the Inquisition currently had.

"Mhm"

The lovely Josephine simply gave an agreeing noise; her eyes were glued to clipboard and feathered pen in her grasp. The amount of incoming requests and demands seemed to have increased after the Winter Palace, so much so that even she was becoming a bit overwhelmed.

"I understand...but we also need to consider the smaller struggles"

Resting with his hands on the edge of the war table, Settia looked at them all with eyes swimming with worry. His advisers were constantly on his back about everything needing to be taken care of, but he was starting to fall. The layers of duty, guilt, and death in addition to others constantly reminding him of all the issues nipped at any confidence existing. Every time they met, The Inquisitor was met with more concerns.

"Those are still part of the main issue, Inquisitor. Focusing on the small things will only hinder us"

The Commander furrowed his brows even with temporary anger and Leliana stopped in her pacing.

"He is correct, it will only hurt us more. You need to make sacrifices"

At the mention of sacrifices, Settia's knuckles were already turning white from his strong grasp on the table edge. Today had not been a good day for him to be dealing with even more choices that always was up to him for final vote, the way his mentality was in the morning was a sure sign of that.

_Please not today...not now._

Immediately, his eyes closed and his face began to show signs of something off. Settia's face read pain. His throat felt tight, a feeling of constraint and drowning. It was hard to swallow. Chills ran through him. His heart was already increasing in speed, despite the chest pain already setting in.

There was no way he was going to speak right now and everything else was no longer a concern.

"Inquisitor?"

Josephine spoke with slight surprise and worry; the others also had attention on the Elf. They had seen the Inquisitor face smaller struggles of nervousness and worry, but never had they seen him like this. It only added to the worry building up inside of Settia and left them dumbfounded in how to respond. 

"Inquisitor, is everything alright?"

Cullen slowly walked around from his side of the war table and, with a look of concern, placed a hand lightly on Settia's shoulder.

When he did such, it made the situation worse.

The touch was like a thousand bricks hitting him at once. In an instance, the Inquisitor crumbled down. It started with a slow decline down while trying to secure self with the edge, but it quickly went to nothing as Settia slipped down to the floor. He was curled up and trembling very slightly. Leliana gave Cullen a slight look of 'that did not help' before slipping out the room without a reason why.

"Commander, give him space"

"Y-yeah"

Cullen awkwardly shuffled to stand next to Josephine with minor horror of causing the Inquisitor to break down more. Together, they stood in a silence with uncertainty of how to handle this. In what felt like forever, the war room doors were pushed open with extensive force. In came Iron Bull, with a mild charge in his step. Leliana trailed in behind him with her normal calm expression. Bull crouched down next to Settia.

"Kadan, I am here"

His voice was in his more soothing tone. It lacked the usual roughness. 

"You're going to be alright, Kadan"

Bull remained with the softer voice and kept his hands to himself. Out of anyone in Skyhold, the Iron Bull knew Settia the best; this included situations like this. Just hearing his voice seemed to have made Settia settle a bit. As Bull talked the Inquisitor out of his current hellish nightmare, the advisers left once the large Qunari made a gesture for them to do so.

A few minutes after they were gone, the sensations taking over him were subsiding. The Elf's breathing slowed down and Bull takes this as a sign to finally make physical contact. He did this to help his small Kadan off the floor.

When the two leave together, they are met by the advisers standing outside the room. They speak of nothing until after Iron Bull helps the Inquisitor up to his chambers. After this, Bull comes back for the four of them talk about what happened.

_Panic Attack._

Bull doesn't go too far into details, yet gives them enough to comprehend.

**This is the first they learn the Inquisitor is not just nervous by nature, but rather full of anxiety.**


	5. Above Nothing

"Your attempts are borderline _worthless_. What do you think that says about you?"

Solas' words were harsh with an expression matching the severity as he stared Settia down. The displeasure was not without reason. It had been another day of the inquisitor's actions falling short and resulting in nothing, but a headache and people hurt. First, the day started with results that one of the expeditions had only gained the death of several of the Inquisition's agents and now, he was faced with a confrontation in the war room by the man who constantly seemed unhappy with what he did- even siding with the mages was not enough.

The Inquisitor's face read pure hurt by the words thrown his way; his deep red brows furrowed and it felt like another arrow to the heart. He had not expected such bitterness from the apostate, especially when he did little to harm the fellow mage, yet they seemed to have clashed constantly.

"I- I've tried"

"Trying is not always enough"

The bald elf sighed and moved away from the table in annoyance with the Inquisitor. Moving away, Solas left Settia standing alone; his hands nimbly clenching on the war table. The red head was trying his best to keep composed. A breakdown at this point would only add to Solas' words of insult and prove him correct.

Those efforts fell just as instantly as they started. The table grasp that was so faint now held on as if for dear life. Settia's head hung down to avoid any more eye contact with Solas and to hide the tears forming.

There was no doubt in the words spoken about him.

There never was.

_He was worthless. That was known from day one._

**Everyone has made that quite clear.**

"I'll...I'll leave"

"That would be for the best"

Without wasting another second of standing in the room swimming with tension, Settia darted. This wasn't the original plan of leaving, first thought was going to walk out without looking back, but the emotions building over Solas' constant insults proved that they did not want to be with the apostate any longer.

His feet led him down the broken hall, through Josephine's office. As he entered, he stumbled over some of the debris. Footing was lost and he crashed hard against the floor; both of his arms instinctively went out to catch himself.They weren't in the state of being fully stable causing both to give out on impact. _THUD._  Settia's pale face smacked roughly on the stone. His nose instantly felt the pain that slowly began to spread through the cartridge.

"Oh? Inquisitor are you alri-"

The lovely ambassador could not finish her sentence before the Elf was already stumbling out of the room with blood gushing from his nose and tears finally falling. He didn't care if the main area of Skyhold was full of mysterious people never seen before, he had to get away from Solas. All of the emotions made a warm pain flow through his gut. Settia kept his head down, hand over his nose, as he ran towards his chambers.

Stairs were a struggle and an even bigger one as he started to crumble going up them.

With each step up the flight, the warmth grew more inside and the pain followed. By the time he made it to the top steps, Settia had curled up on his knees with both hands holding his gut. When the Inquisitor tried making movement towards his bed, the ache fully took over.

An extremely loud scream of hurt left his lungs.

From outside the main castle of Skyhold, the scream rang throughout. Many stopped with what they were doing: eyes quickly looked up for the source. Before anyone on the outside could fully react or understand what happened, Iron Bull immediately sprung from his chair in the tavern.

The scream was familiar to him- _something heard quite often_ \- never this loud or in such distress however.

His whole body moved quick and in full charge, shoving anyone that was in his way. When he made it to the main door of Settia's chambers, that lead from the main hall, a small crowd had formed with a single guard trying to keep them at bay.

"If you do not move, I will  _make_ you move"

Settia's body was fully collapsed on the ground with light char marks. His whole body looked cracked with flames burning a vibrant red-yellow flow bursting out. Bull held his breath and quickly moved to grab the sheets from the Inquisitor's bed; the sight was terrifying and would have been even more frightening if Settia had not been a fire mage. In as calm of a manner he could, Iron Bull threw the sheets over the body on the floor and held tightly onto both.

"Kadan"

He held tighter, even as the intense degree of the fire nipped at his skin.

In almost an instance, the heat died down.  

The blaze all over Settia was smothered by the sheets and now laying under the faintly scorched body of the Bull laid the Inquisitor, but his body was still curled.

 Together they sat on the floor, Settia in Iron Bull's arms, sitting inside of the charred ring. Later Bull would give attention to the minor burns on his own body, but for now making sure the Inquisitor, his Kadan, was stable and no longer engulfed in flames that seemed to do no harm to Settia's pale skin.

 

There was worry when the news spread of what happened to the lead companions and Solas. 

Worry knowing what could happen if Settia's powers got out of hand like that more often.

**Worry he'd become an abomination at his own hand.**


End file.
